Verse 1-2

B. Basic principles of interpersonal relationships5:1-2

Paul turned to the subject of interpersonal relationships to help his son in the faith get along with people effectively and instruct others wisely. What he had written in 1 Timothy 4:11-13 might have led Timothy to understand his mentor to mean that he needed to resort to harsh and overbearing action. Consequently Paul hastened to explain that Timothy should not be abusive in prescribing and teaching these things. This brief section is transitional, connecting with 1 Timothy 4:11-16 in form and concern, and with 1 Timothy 5:3-25 in content.

"As with an article of clothing, the church has its seams, created naturally by age differences, gender differences, economic differences and so on. These seams, where these various groups come together, often show visible signs of stress. It falls to the Christian leader to cross all these lines from time to time in order to minister effectively. But crossing these lines requires sensitivity and care." [Note: Towner, 1-2Timothy . . ., p113.]

One of the greatest failings of people involved in pastoral work is their inability to relate to and work with others effectively. This failure is often traceable to the pastor"s attitude toward others, how he views them. Paul wisely prefaced his specific instructions concerning how to deal with certain leadership needs with fundamental principles designed to facilitate good interpersonal relationships.

In short, Timothy was to relate to everyone in the church as if they were the members of his own family. Paul had already taught that the local church is a "household" ( 1 Timothy 3:15). Therefore believers, and especially a leader of the church, should treat other Christians accordingly. Timothy should not take an adversarial role with members of the Ephesian church.

Specifically we should deal with older men respectfully and appeal to them gently rather than rebuking them harshly. Their chronological age, regardless of their spiritual age, is reason enough to approach them humbly rather than arrogantly.

"Within the Greco-Roman (and Jewish) family, the father was owed complete respect (cf. Sirach 3:12-14)." [Note: Idem, The Letters . . ., p331.]

Of course, we might eventually have to rebuke and even exclude from the fellowship any person who is destroying the church by teaching false doctrine, for example. However even in those cases we should approach older men patiently, as is appropriate when dealing with our fathers.

"Just as it is difficult for an older person to respect the teaching and leadership of a younger man ( 1 Timothy 4:12), so also it is difficult for a younger man to know how to instruct and correct the older people in the church." [Note: Mounce, p269.]

The church leader can deal with younger men (i.e, younger than the older men just mentioned) more directly but should always do so as brothers. The pastor should regard younger men not as inferior or superior to himself but as equals. In Timothy"s case these men were his contemporaries. Even an elderly man should think of younger Christian men as his brothers giving them the dignity of equals rather than looking down on them as inferiors.

We should think of and treat the older women in the congregation as we would our own mothers. This implies giving them special consideration in view of their age and experience. Some pastors tend to neglect the older women because they have difficulty identifying with them or because some of them do not appear to be the more productive members of the congregation. This practice differs from the one Paul urged Timothy to adopt.

We should regard the younger women as sisters in the Lord and treat them with the purity one would grant his physical sister. Perhaps because it is a temptation for some pastors to love their spiritual sisters too much Paul added "with all purity" ( 1 Timothy 5:2). If a pastor determines to relate to the younger women in his congregation as sisters, he will not do anything to or with them that would harm them in any way.

"No sort of behavior will so easily make or mar the young preacher as his conduct with young women." [Note: Robertson, 4:583.]

Throughout his epistles Paul urged his readers to adopt certain attitudes toward God (to think of Him as Father, Lord, Savior, etc.) and themselves (as saints, ambassadors, sons of God, etc.). These attitudes were crucial for them to hold so they might live properly. The way we think determines how we behave. Here ( 1 Timothy 5:1-2) he taught a particular view toward others in the local church that is essential to success in interpersonal relationships, especially as pastors.

Prospective Ministers Need Training in Interpersonal Competence

At "The Conference on Student Development in Theological Education" in June1985, Dr. David Schuller of the Association of Theological Schools made the following comments.

Of those ministers involuntarily terminated by churches in recent years only6-13percent failed due to professional incompetence. However46 percent were unsatisfactory due to interpersonal incompetence. Of this second group half were too autocratic and half were too passive.

Schuller gave nine signs of interpersonal incompetence.

1. They did not understand the situation, especially what they personally had done to make the matter worse. (This may identify a failure to listen and observe.)

2. They blamed others instead of accepting personal responsibility.

3. They did not delegate appropriately.

4. They were unable to develop common loyalties with people.

5. They were unable to make clear and direct statements or to behave consistently with statements they did make.

6. They needed emotional support and approval all the time from everybody.

7. They were unable to interpret the present in terms of reality.

8. They treated "differentness" as a threat.

9. They did not support others emotionally while disagreeing intellectually.

Verse 3-4

"The basic thought of the word "widow" is that of loneliness. The word comes from an adjective meaning "bereft" and speaks of her resultant loneliness as having been bereft of her husband." [Note: Hiebert, First Timothy, p91.]

Paul distinguished three kinds of widows in the church. First, there were the bereaved who had children or grandchildren who could support them. Second, there were those who had no family to care for them, the bereft as well as bereaved. The Christian physical relatives of the former group should care for the first type (cf. Mark 7:10-12; Ephesians 6:2).

"In explanation of "nephews" in KJV, the Oxford English Dictionary (7:91) notes that in the seventeenth century (when KJV appeared) the term nephew was commonly used for a grandson, though that meaning is now obsolete." [Note: Earle, pp376-77.]

"No "corban" business here. No acts of "piety" toward God will make up for impiety towards parents.... Filial piety is primary unless parents interfere with duty to Christ ( Luke 14:26)." [Note: Robertson, 4>584.]

The church should care for the latter group, the widows with no family to care for them, and presumably widows with non-supportive family members. The church should honor this second group of widows, the extremely dependent, rather than looking down on them.

"It is what a person Isaiah, not what he has, that is the proper gauge of honour, or of dishonour..." [Note: King, p90.]

Verses 3-16

1. Provisions for widows5:3-16

Paul gave instructions concerning the church"s responsibility for its widows to clarify how and for whom the church should provide special care. Widows have been and still are especially vulnerable individuals. As such God has always shown special concern for their protection (cf. Deuteronomy 10:18; Deuteronomy 24:17; Psalm 68:5; Isaiah 1:17; Luke 2:37). The early church normally mirrored His attitude ( Acts 6:1; Acts 9:39). In the Greco-Roman world a female normally obtained her social status and identity from her male, either her father or, after marriage, her husband. [Note: Towner, The Letters . . ., p335.]

". . . the real widow seems to be set up as an ideal in contrast to the young widows in much the same way that Timothy is in contrast to the false teachers ( 1 Timothy 4:6-16; 1 Timothy 6:11-16)." [Note: Fee, 1,2Timothy ..., p114.]

This whole discussion of widows appears to focus on the younger widows in particular. They may be the same women Paul spoke of in 2 Timothy 3:6-7 who were responding positively to the false teachers. This may explain the surprising length of the section. This is the most extensive treatment of a group in the whole epistle.

Verses 3-25

C. How to deal with widows and elders5:3-25

Paul now addressed how Timothy was to deal with two main problem areas in the Ephesian church, the younger widows and the erring elders.

Verse 5-6

However not all in the second category should receive regular financial help. Only those widows without children or supporting relatives (Gr. memonomeme, "left alone") who give evidence that they are looking to God for their needs and are seeking to honor Him with their lives qualify (e.g, Anna in Luke 2:36-38). These are "widows indeed." Widows who give themselves to the pursuit of pleasure rather than to the pursuit of God do not qualify for regular support. This is the third group of widows in the passage.

"In the contemporary world many widows were tempted to resort to immoral living as a means of support, and that is probably in the apostle"s mind when he uses the verb spatalao (liveth in pleasure)." [Note: Guthrie, p101.]

These women receive in their lives the wages of their sin: spiritual deadness. The term "dead" describes widows who are presumably believers (cf. James 2:17).

"To have pleasure in life is a legitimate and healthy thing; but to live for pleasure, as some people do, and did even in Timothy"s day, is an unworthy, and unhealthy, thing. The difference between Christians is largely a matter of appetite-is he satisfied, with the things of God, or does he hanker after the things of the world?" [Note: King, p91.]

"It has been my experience in three different pastorates that godly widows are a "spiritual powerhouse" in the church. They are the backbone of the prayer meetings. They give themselves to visitation, and they swell the ranks of teachers in the Sunday School. It has also been my experience that, if a widow is not godly, she can be a great problem to the church. She will demand attention, complain about what the younger people do, and often "hang on the telephone" and gossip. (Of course, it is not really "gossip." She only wants her friends to be able to "pray more intelligently" about these matters!)" [Note: Wiersbe, 2:229.]

Verse 7

Timothy was to teach these things so family members in the church would shoulder their rightful responsibility. He was also to do so to encourage the widows to seek the Lord rather than pursuing lives of "wanton pleasure" ( 1 Timothy 5:6).

"The Ephesians are evidently so spiritually immature that even after all the years of Paul"s ministry he is not able to speak to them as mature Christians but still is dealing with the basics [cf. 1 Corinthians 3:1-2]." [Note: Mounce, p284.]

Verse 8

Paul cited a commonly recognized responsibility to encourage the relatives of widows to maintain them. Family members have a universally recognized duty to care for one another. Even unbelievers acknowledge this. If a Christian fails here, he behaves contrary to the teaching of his faith and Isaiah, in this particular, worse than the typical unbeliever who helps his needy relations. Even the Lord Jesus made provision for His mother"s care as He hung on the cross ( John 19:26-27).

"The Christian who falls below the best heathen standard of family affection is the more blameworthy, since he has, what the heathen has not, the supreme example of love in Jesus Christ." [Note: Newport J. D. White, "The First and Second Epistles to Timothy and the Epistle to Titus," in The Expositor"s Greek Testament, 4:129.]

Verse 9-10

Evidently the Ephesian church had a "list" of "widows indeed" who received regular support from the congregation. A widow had to meet three qualifications to get her name on this list.

First, she had to be at least60 years old. At this age most widows probably became incapable of providing for their own needs, and most would no longer have the opportunity to remarry.

"Sixty was the recognized age in antiquity when one became an "old" man or woman ..." [Note: Kelly, p115.]

Second, she had to have been a one-man woman. The same qualification existed for elders and deacons ( 1 Timothy 3:2; 1 Timothy 3:12). Following the same interpretation given in 1 Timothy 3:2, this would mean that she was unqualified if she had been unfaithful, promiscuous, or polyandrous. Polyandrous means married to more than one man at a time, which was a rare occurrence in Paul"s culture. Remarriage after the death of her spouse would not necessarily disqualify her.

Third, she had to have established a reputation for good works. Paul cited five typical examples of good works. (1) She had reared her children responsibly, assuming she had children. This evidenced good works in the home. (2) She had been hospitable. This demonstrated good works in her community. (3) She had humbly served her Christian brothers and sisters. "Washed the saints" feet" seems to be a figure of speech for humble service in the church family. (4) She had helped people in special need, an example of good works toward the needy. (5) She had "devoted herself" to good works. Good works had been important to her presumably as an expression of her faith in Christ.

Some writers believed that Paul was describing a special order of widows with spiritual and charitable duties to perform for which they received remuneration. [Note: E.g, Bernard, pp80-81, and Hendriksen, pp172-74..] Such an order existed in later centuries, but its existence in the infancy of the church is indefensible. [Note: See Lea, p149.]

Verse 11-12

It was not wise to place younger widows on this list, and Paul explained why. Younger widows" sensual desires would be stronger, and these feelings would make it very hard for them to remain committed to serving Christ wholeheartedly as single women.

"The metaphor is that of a young animal trying to free itself from the yoke, and becoming restive through its fulness [sic] of life." [Note: Bernard, p82.]

Paul evidently assumed that this commitment to the Lord characterized those on the list (cf. 1 Timothy 5:5). If the church leaders placed younger widows on the list and they wanted to remarry, they would have to set aside this pledge of devotion to and service of Christ alone. [Note: Knight, pp226-27.] They would thereby incur some form of temporal condemnation. Perhaps this punishment came from their consciences, their church family, or elsewhere. It certainly was not eternal condemnation.

"The pledge Paul referred to was probably a more or less formal commitment, taken on joining the list of widows, wherein the woman vowed to serve Christ entirely without thought of remarriage." [Note: Litfin, p743.]

Another interpretive option is that perhaps these verses describe more particularly a younger Christian widow faced with the temptation of marrying an unbeliever (cf. 1 Corinthians 7:39). [Note: Fee, 1,2Timothy ..., p121; Mounce, p291; Towner, The Letters . . ., p353.] Her sensual desires might overpower her commitment to do God"s will and lead her to live contrary to the faith that she professed. Many English translations render the Greek word pistin ("faith," 1 Timothy 5:12) "pledge." Obviously setting aside her previous pledge does not mean breaking her pledge to her husband since Paul encouraged widows to remarry ( 1 Timothy 5:14).

"The explanation for Paul"s strong words apparently lay in his view of widowhood as a spiritual commitment. He did not want younger widows to accept the calling of widowhood and then renounce that call with the appearance of any eligible man. It was better to allow them to plan for remarriage as he directed in 1 Timothy 5:14." [Note: Lea, p151.]

Verses 13-15

Placement on the list of supported widows would not be good for younger widows because it would open them to the temptation of idleness as well as inconsistency. They would normally face temptation to use their energy and time in too much talking and getting into other people"s affairs. In short, they would fail to participate in constructive activities and instead become involved in what was destructive. Contrast the behavior of the commended widows in 1 Timothy 5:10.

"In their visits to homes they pick up private matters and spread them abroad. This is always a snare to those who go from home to home or church to church." [Note: Earle, p378.]

In view of these possibilities Paul encouraged younger widows to remarry. In the ancient world most people expected that a widow would remarry. [Note: Bruce W. Winter, "Providentia for the Widows of1Timothy5:3-16," Tyndale Bulletin39 (1988):85; W. K. Lacey, The Family in Classical Greece, p117.] The apostle urged the younger widows to use their strength to bear children and to care for their families, the primary duties of a typical Christian wife (cf. Titus 2:5). The Greek word oikodespotein, translated "keep house" in the NASB, means "rule the house(hold)." Since the husband is ultimately responsible to God for what happens in his home ( 1 Timothy 3:4; Genesis 3:16), Paul must have meant that the wife is to rule over the household under his authority.

By remarrying, the younger widows would not give the enemy (any accuser of believers) an opportunity to criticize them for going back on their pledge to serve Christ as a "widow indeed." Evidently this had already happened in the Ephesian church ( 1 Timothy 5:15). In forsaking their professed service of Christ in this way some had turned aside to follow Satan. This is a strong description of the real situation involved in going back on a commitment to Christ.

Did Paul mean that every young widow, and perhaps every young woman, should get married and bear children? I think not. This was the typical role of a young woman in Paul"s day and still is today worldwide. This seems to be another example of presenting the typical situation with room for exceptions assumed.

"The wife who works simply to get luxuries may discover too late that she has lost some necessities. It may be all right to have what money can buy, if you do not lose what money cannot buy." [Note: Wiersbe, 2:231.]

Verse 16

In conclusion, Paul sought to correct a possible misunderstanding. He wrote that financially capable women should maintain the widows in their families so the church would not have to support them. Probably he referred to "any woman" to clarify that this duty applied to women who did not have living or believing husbands as well as to male heads of households.

"Certainly we must honor our parents and grandparents and seek to provide for them if they have needs. Not every Christian family is able to take in another member, and not every widow wants to live with her children. Where there is sickness or handicap, professional care is necessary, and perhaps this cannot be given in a home. Each family must decide what God"s will is in the matter, and no decision is easy. The important thing is that believers show love and concern and do all they can to help each other." [Note: Ibid.]

"Paul"s advice [in 1 Timothy 5:9-16] focused on the three terms, respect, compassion, and responsibility." [Note: Lea, p153.]

Verse 17-18

It is clear that the elders Paul referred to in this section were the church overseers and not just any older men in the congregation. Paul had already given the qualifications for these officers ( 1 Timothy 3:1-7) and now he described them as ruling, preaching, and teaching. From this verse we learn that the overall duty of the elders was ruling the church in the sense of directing its affairs and giving oversight to all its activities (cf. 1 Peter 5:1-4).

What were the single and double honor to which Paul referred? The single honor most likely alludes to the respect that came to the elder for being an elder. Paul had previously commanded that widows be given honor ( 1 Timothy 5:3-16). Now he commands that elders receive twice as much honor as the widows, especially those elders who work hard at preaching and teaching.

"The term "honor" does not refer merely to an honorarium, but the failure to give proper pay would imply a lack of honor. The idea of "double" may refer to the double portion the oldest in the family received ( Deuteronomy 21:17). It probably consisted of the twin benefits of honor or respect and financial remuneration [cf. 1 Timothy 5:3; 1 Timothy 5:17-18]. The fact that pay was at least included shows that those who gave leadership to spiritual affairs could expect financial support from the church (cf. 2 Corinthians 11:8-9; Galatians 6:6)." [Note: Ibid, p155. Cf. Earle, p380; Knight, p232; Fee, 1,2Timothy ..., p129; Mounce, pp306, 309-10; Towner, The Letters . . ., p363. Cf. also1Corinthians9:7-14; 1 Thessalonians 2:7.]

Another view is that the double honor did not necessarily include an honorarium or salary but consisted of the respect intrinsic to the office plus the joy of a job well done. [Note: Hiebert, First Timothy, p101; Hendriksen, p180; J. E. Huther, A Critical and Exegetical Handbook to the Epistles to Timothy and Titus, p172.]

"At least a part of the "double honor" Paul urged for the competent elder involved a recognition for a job well done. For us today writing a letter of gratitude, making a phone call of appreciation, and expressing a personal word of praise can accomplish the same thing." [Note: Lea, p159.]

A third possibility is that the honor was pay, and the double honor was double pay. [Note: Litfin, p744. Cf. Guthrie, p105.] As far as I know, no one has proved that elders in the early church typically received pay for their ministry.

Note that not all the elders in the Ephesian church worked hard at preaching and teaching. This may imply that all were equally responsible to preach and teach but some did it with more diligence than others. It may mean that some elders had more responsibility to preach and teach than others (e.g, pastoral staff). Both options may be in view since both situations are common. In any group of elders one will be more diligent and or more competent in these ministries than another. 1 Timothy 5:17 probably allows for a division of labor among the elders, though all were to be "able to teach" ( 1 Timothy 3:2). [Note: See George W. Knight III, "Two Offices (Elders/Bishops and Deacons) and Two Orders of Elders (Preaching/Teaching Elders and Ruling Elders): A New Testament Study," Presbyterion11:1 (Spring1985):1-12.] The distinction that some churches make between teaching elders and ruling elders, therefore, is essentially functional, not official. [Note: See David A. Mappes, "The New Testament Elder, Overseer, and Pastor," Bibliotheca Sacra154:614 (April-June1997):162-74; P. C. Campbell, The Theory of Ruling Eldership or the Position of the Lay Ruler in the Reformed Churches Examined, p59.]

Paul cited two scriptural authorities to support his instruction to those who serve the church by providing leadership as elders: Moses ( Deuteronomy 25:4; Leviticus 19:13; Deuteronomy 24:15; cf. 1 Corinthians 9:9) and Jesus ( Luke 10:7; cf. Matthew 10:10). If Paul meant that both quotations were Scripture, this is one of the earliest New Testament attestations to the inspiration of another New Testament book (Luke and or Matthew; cf. 2 Peter 3:16). However, he could have meant that only the first quotation was Scripture. He may have simply added a commonly accepted truth that Jesus also quoted, which Matthew and Luke recorded, for support (cf. Mark 1:2-3).

Verses 17-25

2. The discipline and selection of elders5:17-25

Another group in the church deserved Timothy"s special attention. Therefore Paul gave instructions concerning the care of elders to his young legate to enable him to deal with present and potential elders properly.

The structure of this pericope is similar to that of the previous paragraph dealing with widows. In both sections Paul began by showing genuine concern ("honor," 1 Timothy 3:3) for the care of those in the group. He then proceeded to urge correction of those within each group that needed it. He ended on a positive note in each section. Both sections deal with proper interpersonal relationships in the household of faith, the church ( 1 Timothy 5:1-2).

Verse 19-20

Criticism of leaders is a favorite spectator sport. Paul directed that his readers should not entertain accusations against elders unless two or three witnesses agreed to give evidence of wrongdoing (cf. Deuteronomy 19:15; Matthew 18:16; John 8:17; 2 Corinthians 13:1). Following a private rebuke Timothy should publicly rebuke a persistently erring elder. This procedure would also discourage others from sinning. The sin in view is difficult to ascertain. The present tense implies continued sin, but the general word for sin (Gr. tous hamartanontas) leaves the offense unspecified. Perhaps the sin involved violating one of the elder qualifications including the general qualification of blamelessness. [Note: David A. Mappes, "The Discipline of a Sinning Elder," Bibliotheca Sacra154:615 (July-September1997):340.]

Who are the "all" and the "rest," the elders or the entire church?

". . . since the level at which the sin of the elder is being dealt with is that of two or three witnesses, the analogy with Matthew 18:15-18, particularly 1 Timothy 5:17, "tell it to the church," would point to "all the church" as more likely ..." [Note: Knight, The Pastoral . . ., p236.]

In our day the church leaders would be those responsible to carry out what Paul commanded Timothy to do. It seems reasonable to assume, on the basis of Matthew 18, that if they could deal with the problem adequately without involving the whole congregation, they would do so.

""Where there"s smoke, there"s fire" may be a good slogan for a volunteer fire department, but it does not apply to local churches. "Where there"s smoke, there"s fire" could possibly mean that somebody"s tongue has been "set on fire of hell"! ( James 3:6)." [Note: Wiersbe, 2:232.]

Verse 21

Paul could hardly have stressed the importance of absolute objectivity and honesty in dealing with offending leaders more strongly (cf. 1 Timothy 6:13; 2 Timothy 4:1). God, Christ Jesus, and the elect angels are all judges ( Matthew 25:31; Mark 8:38; Luke 9:26; Revelation 14:10). Paul urged Timothy on behalf of these judges to judge fairly. The apostle may have been thinking of Deuteronomy 19:17 here since that verse also specifies a trio of judges in a context of judging an accused offender.

Verse 22

Paul also urged Timothy to minimize the possibility of elder failure by being extremely careful about whom he appointed in the first place. Laying on hands in this context probably refers to public ordination (cf. 1 Timothy 4:14; 2 Timothy 1:6). [Note: Knight, The Pastoral . . ., p239; Earle, p381; Kelly, p127; David A. Mappes, "The "Laying on of Hands" of Elders," Bibliotheca Sacra154:616 (October-December1997):473-79.] Another view is that it refers to the restoration of repentant fallen elders. [Note: White, 4:137-38.] A person who appoints a deficient candidate to office shares his guilt when his unacceptability surfaces. Since Timothy occupied the seat of a judge he needed to stay free from sin himself. As in 1 Timothy 4:6-16, Paul"s concern about the sins of others led him to insert a short aside to Timothy about the importance of ordering his own life, specifically maintaining his purity (cf. 1 Timothy 4:12; 1 Timothy 5:2).

Verse 23

Paul may have realized that the process of elder discipline that he imposed on Timothy would have been hard on him physically as well as emotionally. According to this verse Timothy suffered from frequent illness. Consequently the apostle prescribed a little wine for medicinal purposes. Since Paul"s instruction was for medicinal purposes, this verse contributes nothing to either side of the debate over the use of wine as a beverage.

"The words imply that Timothy was a total abstainer from wine." [Note: Hiebert, First Timothy, p105.]

"We must remember that wine was one of the chief remedial agents of those times in which the science of medicine was in its infancy among Greek physicians." [Note: Wuest, p88.]

This verse is a personal parenthesis in the flow of Paul"s argument about sinning elders.

Verse 24-25

Timothy needed to be cautious about choosing church leaders.

"In assessing people, errors are unavoidable." [Note: Towner, The Letters . . ., p376.]

Sin is not always obvious as soon as someone practices it. However eventually it will become known if persisted in, normally. In the same manner good deeds can remain hidden for years. Consequently the better a church knows its potential elders the fewer surprises they will present after their appointment.