Title: For a happy couple/Ephesians (5:22-33)
The three elements that make up a family
A ‘happy couple’ does not mean a couple who owns a lot, has a healthy family, is socially famous, and has achieved something. Even if these things do not exist, a happy couple is a couple that God wants and is pleasing to God. Happy couples make happy families. So, what is a happy family? It refers to a God-centered family built on the basis of the principles of the Bible.
There are three elements that make up a family in Genesis. The first is God. Since God is the founder of the family, without God, the family does not exist. I want your home to be God-centered.
When God becomes the center of the family, we can overcome any crisis and adversity. The reason why the center of the family should be God is because God is the center of all authority. The breakdown of the family is due to the lack of authority. When the husband's authority falls, the family collapses. When authority collapses, everything collapses.
However, if God becomes the center of the family, even if a husband and wife make a mistake, there is a possibility that they will ultimately be restored because the subject of authority in the family is God. Therefore, the owner of your home must be God. Jesus Christ must be at the center of the home.
The second of the three elements of the family is the 'Garden of Eden'. You must make the environment in which you live as pleasant as in the Garden of Eden. God created Adam and Eve and placed them in a beautiful garden called Eden. Even if a couple love each other, if the circumstances are bad, they can fight like Abraham and Lot fought over each other's space. We can learn from Genesis that creating a good environment is one of the keys to a happy family.
Another, the most important element of the family is Adam and Eve. In a home, there are parents, a couple, and children. The most important among them is the couple.
In Eastern society, the most important thing is parents. And children are important. So the couple is nowhere to be found, and all their time is wasted on their parents and children. Since life is not a couple-centered life, if you devote yourself to everything else, there will be nothing left between the couple. However, we can see that the family seen through Genesis was God-centered and Eden was the center, but the husband and wife were the center.
The absence of sin between husband and wife is an important element of the assumption we learn from Genesis. A husband must not have a sin that the wife does not know, or a wife must not have a sin that the husband is not aware of. When there is sin between husband and wife, gaps begin to form in the family.
The biblical condition for the happiest couple is that they do not hide their sins from each other. Today, I pray that families who have sins hidden from each other will let them go away from each other in the name of Jesus. If the hidden sins are not removed, no matter how good a house, a good car, or an honor you have, that family will inevitably be broken. Because sin destroys relationships.
The scariest thing is this 'sin'. When sin came into the Garden of Eden, humans were driven out of Eden, the tree of life was hidden, and Adam and Eve, who lived in the Garden of Eden, had to live in the world.
A biblical family is a family that is built on the principles of the Bible, and it is a family that holds onto and keeps these guidelines. This assumption will eventually triumph in the end times.
a man leaves his parents
A happy family starts with a happy couple. A happy family is a family in which the husband is the main pillar. In today's text, Ephesians 5:22, 23, Matthew 19, and Genesis 2, what is repeatedly said is that a man should leave his parents and become one flesh with his wife. We should reconsider this biblical principle and apply it to our homes as well.
A true family begins with ‘independence’. Without independence, you cannot have a family. A man must leave his parents. Of course there are exceptions. If the parents are old or alone, they will have to live together, but even in this case, it does not change the fact that the family must exist independently.
“A man leaves his parents” means the maturity to be able to live without the help of his parents any longer. If you get married when you do not have the ability to be independent, a crisis will come. Even though you are married, you are within the sphere of influence of your parents, and you are living a dependent life. ‘I love my parents’ and ‘being within their sphere of influence’ are two different things. I want you to honor your parents. However, a true family and married couple must have mature personalities that can be independent from their parents' sphere of influence.
This principle must be acknowledged by both parents and children. Parents must have the courage to let their children go, and children must have the ability to refuse their help and live on their own. When you show such a mature attitude, you can gain the authority of the head of the family, become independent in your family, and take on the image of God's family.
Of course, there are times when you need help from your parents. But ultimately, you have to enter a stage of maturity where you can live without help. This is very important. It is a great blessing for parents to help their children. However, as children strive to build their own families, they will regain their authority and gain the ability to defend them.
When a husband leaves his parents and becomes completely independent, he becomes fully united with his wife. Married couples should be culturally and spiritually united in their values. So the couple should gradually resemble each other.
However, many couples struggle to overcome each other's initiatives after they are married. However, such thinking must be thrown away from the root. Couples should go together. Because the couple is one. ‘1+1=1’ This is the formula for marriage. It is physical, mental and spiritual harmony.
A family with spiritual order
It is important to keep spiritual order to create a happy family. God created Adam before Eve. This means that the man is responsible. Men are the spiritual leaders of the family and priests.
God sought Adam and Eve, who had sinned by eating of the forbidden fruit. God did not call Eve, but Adam. However, Adam lost the role of the head of the household and passed the responsibility on to Eve. This is not correct. A man should be held responsible. This is the spiritual order of the home.
On the other hand, women are ‘helpers’. This is the essence of a woman. So, there are things that women should be careful about. You shouldn't try to fix your husband.
Most marital quarrels start with the wife trying to change her husband's habit. But women are called to be helpers, not teachers. All women, do not compare your husband to yourself or other husbands. Your husband is unique and unique. Don't demand too much of your husband. Your husband is not your servant.
A woman is just a helper to a man. Don't try to manipulate, demand, or fix a man. This is unbiblical. This is where the problem arises. Men have weaknesses and therefore make mistakes. But it is the woman who complements this. According to the text, men should love women, and women should obey and respect men. This is the principle of the Bible. If you deviate from this principle, your family is bound to break. Husbands should love their wives as the Lord loves the church, and wives should obey their husbands as the church obeys the Lord.
So who should go first? A man must do it first. Because men are spiritual leaders. If you love any evildoer, you are bound to obey.
A man is responsible for all the mistakes of a woman. And a man must love a woman in the way recorded in 1 Corinthians 13. Be patient, be meek, not boastful, be arrogant, not be rude, do not seek your own, do not be provoked, do not think evil, but love.
You must love like this. It's easy to love what you love. But a couple must decide to love, even if they don't deserve it. Husbands listen.
Loving your wife changes her. A wife obeys her husband. A wife should not be abusive to her husbands. This is beneficial to the wife. A wife always pays respect to her husband. Words represent one's personality. Don't try to get on your husband's head. Also, do not be at your husband's feet. Always be by your husband's side. Because the woman came from the man's side. The word ‘rib’ in Genesis means ‘side’. This is the woman's current residence.
A couple reborn as 'new people'
There are some really important things you need to do to be a truly happy couple. That is, there should be no wounds. Only a couple with a healthy self-image can lead a healthy marriage.
Couples with an unhealthy self-image are jumbled with feelings of inferiority, comparison, superiority, arrogance, arrogance, and frustration. So, when faced with a certain problem, a sense of inferiority or superiority becomes a problem rather than the problem itself. In the end, this kind of heartache will distort all relationships.
Therefore, the inner wound must be healed. The Bible tells us to put off the old man and be born again into the new man. When your character and life are reborn before God, this will be the foundation of your family life and will be a blessing.
Today we share some biblical couple images. Let me say it again. Get healed first. Only when the old person dies, there will be no problems in the religious life and family life. And no matter what happens, it won't hurt. There is a secret to not getting hurt. It's just 'deciding not to get hurt'. Don't get hurt. This will make your personality healthy.
I pray that all the married couples here will be healed in good personal health and that the old person will be transformed into a new person. I pray that whatever you say between the couple doesn't hurt. We are deceived. The family is important, but it shouldn't be an idol. Couples are important. But nothing is more important than God.
Our goal is God. The family exists for the glory of God, not the home for the family. If we emphasize the family too much and the couple too much, God has nowhere to go and only the family remains. God is the center of the family. There is education for our children for the glory of God, and our parents are there for the glory of God. I hope you don't lose sight of this goal.