Title: Get Married. But… /Ephesians 5:22-33
Contents Marriage, please do it. But… /Ephesians 5:22-33
22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the church; he himself is the Savior of the body.
24 But as the church is to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it.
26 It was immediately washed with water, and made clean with the word, to be sanctified.
27 To set before him a glorious church, without speck or wrinkle or such, holy and without blemish.
28 In the same way, husbands must love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29 No one at any time hates his own flesh, but nourishes and protects it, just as Christ nourishes the church.
30 For we are members of that body.
31 For this reason a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and the two become one flesh.
32 This mystery is great; I speak of Christ and of the church.
33 But each of you must love his wife as himself, and let the wife fear her husband.
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People get married to be happier than they are now. No one in this world will marry to be unhappy. But what about reality? There are more people who are not happy than those who are happily married. The increase in the divorce rate simply shows that.
It is said that once, a survey organization conducted a survey like this with couples who had been married for more than 20 years. “If you were born again, would you marry your current spouse again?” It is said that over 90% of people answered ‘No!’ to this question.
This shows that most couples are now married to be happy, but over time they become less happy with each other.
So, in order to be happy, people buy a lot of books written on ‘happiness in marriage’ and see a lot of people attending family-related seminars. Still, it's strange that people aren't happy. Even someone who was a lecturer at a couple's seminar, or someone who wrote a famous book on male-female relationships, divorces often.
Then, is there really no secret to a happy married life as time goes by? There is. That is, if you live according to the manual of the Word of God who created the two of you, you can become a happy couple and lead a married life that overflows with happiness as time goes by.
What is the cause of the breakup of all couples and the breakdown of families? It should be remembered that “there is no God the Creator, and he has departed from the word of God.” Everyone, who made the marriage system? Who was the first matchmaker? Who made a man and a woman? You must keep in mind that God made it. Therefore, in order for couples and families to enjoy true happiness, all we need to do is to bring God back into our homes and follow the manual of His Word.
Then, through today's text, we will look at about two things about the 'principle of happiness' for couples and families. I think it is a good word to remember well for young people who are about to get married or those who are already married. Furthermore, it is a word that applies to all human relationships.
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1) Pursue holiness (principle of happiness) verses 26-27
26 It was immediately washed with water, and made clean with the word, to be sanctified.
27 To set before him a glorious church, without speck or wrinkle or such, holy and without blemish.
People get married because they think that living together with two people who love each other will make them happier than living alone. Some people want to be happy by marrying a rich man. Conversely, some people give up money and start a humble marriage with the person they really love, trying to cultivate happiness.
But what about the reality? You see that money does not guarantee happiness. However, passionate love between a man and a woman does not guarantee happiness. Nothing in the world guarantees happiness in marriage. Even Christians often mistakenly think that happiness will come naturally if they marry someone who is diligent in their religious life. But that also does not guarantee happiness.
So what brings happiness to marriage? It is 'holy'. The Bible says that happiness is a bonus when two married people pursue and achieve holiness. One of the greatest purposes of marriage is that both a man and a woman may be sanctified before God.
Guys, what is holiness? It is to abstain from sin. It is a decision to live according to God's will. It is struggling to live a pure life before God. Ladies and gentlemen, just because you are married does not mean that you are free from the temptation of sin. Rather, you may have to fight sin more than you did when you were single.
It may be said that we generally think/ if we want to live holy, we must be single for the rest of our lives, like the monks. However, holiness in the Bible does not refer to holiness in a peaceful state without any temptation or suffering. Rather, it speaks of the holiness that overcame and overcame those temptations and hardships and passed.
Therefore, a married person can achieve true holiness rather than an unmarried person. Because it may seem difficult for monks to get up and pray at dawn, but it may be more difficult for the monks to wake up and pray at dawn after being awake all night to the sound of a baby crying. It may seem painful for the monks to live alone while conquering the lusts of the flesh, but it can be more difficult for a married couple to live through numerous conflicts. In the midst of that, getting closer to God is true holiness.
And even married people sometimes feel that it would be happier to throw away everything and live alone, but it is only through many difficulties in their marriage life that they can grow personally and achieve true holiness.
There are couples who don't, but the person who fights the most in the world is probably their spouse. The closest but most conflicting relationship is the marital relationship. Of course, there will be times when the fighting moments are not enjoyable and there will be times when it feels like nothing.
However, as they go through the process of fighting, they acknowledge each other's limitations, and as they bow down to God, they become more profound believers and holy saints. As they go through various problems that come their way, their faith grows, their personalities are refined, and they change into attractive people.
Efforts to come closer to God while overcoming the temptations, strife, and suffering of sin, to live according to God's will and to be like Him, create 'true holiness'. When two people are holy and pure, God is in them and works, and the kingdom of God will come there.
That is why we see people who were crazy and immature before marriage become more mature, more shy, more polite, and have more mature personalities after they get married.
This applies not only to married couples, but also to friendships, parent-child relationships, and teacher-disciple relationships. Reconciliation and happiness are given when we are clean and pure, and there are no obstacles in the presence of God and people. Therefore, happiness is a bonus given to those who seek to become holy through marriage.
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2) We must learn to love and serve in our daily life (verses 22-25) (the principle of happiness).
Why do people who marry for love get divorced? The reason is that the ecstatic love of the time of dating has long since passed, and now the daily life awaits. Divorce is due to the inability to continue to endure and love in such a daily life. Everyday life is a place where you have to bump into each other every day, the romantic aspects of your dating days disappear, and the other person's weaknesses are revealed without hiding.
Experts say it takes 9 to 14 years for a couple to get married and form a true relationship. In order for two people to form a true love relationship, they must go through a tunnel of perseverance. If so, couples who break up after 1 or 2 years of marriage do not experience what marriage is and break up. Therefore, evaluating too quickly “this is marriage” is equating to saying that the unripe rice is still tasteless.
Looking back, even though my husband and I have been married for 7 years, we cannot say that we know each other well, nor can we say that we know the meaning of true happiness.
Marriage is done because you love it, but it is actually about continuously learning to love and serve through marriage. What we need to remember is that the flower of marriage will wither quickly if it is not watered, fertilized and nourished. If you do not continue to learn this love and service even after marriage, your relationship will start to creaks.
And marriage is a training ground for happiness where you learn to love and serve others by getting away from yourself. Marriage shows that we are not everything, and gives others a chance and trains us to be considerate. And through marriage, you learn to accept others and enjoy the happiness in others as your happiness. In doing so, you will find joy, happiness, and joy in it.
Many people expect that the romantic love they had when they were dating will be maintained after marriage. But it soon disappears. Then, feeling bored and bored with it, he cheats on him, expecting romantic love from the opposite sex. Of course, sometimes it is necessary to restore the romantic love of dating days.
But the love we learn from marriage must be revealed in our service to each other. Even though they say they love each other, their married life is still not going smoothly because they insist on each other and try to be treated, but they have not yet learned to serve.
In this way, when a couple learns to love and serve each other in their daily lives, true happiness will sprout there, and the flowers of happiness will bloom as time goes by.
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▶Conclusion of the Word
In today's verse, God describes the relationship between himself and the saints as that of a husband and wife. <32 This is a great mystery, I speak of Christ and the church> It is that God created the institution of marriage to show His eternal love.
Therefore, marriage is the field of relationship and the holy place of experiencing God's love and making it known to the world. In that sense, those who have had a proper marriage have no choice but to have a deeper love for God and a more mature and deeper faith in God.
Therefore, if you want to experience God's love more deeply, have a more mature faith, and become more holy, you must marry. However, the happiness of two people alone should not be the highest goal. How did you say that you can enjoy the unbreakable happiness of a married couple?
1) Make an effort and pray for the two of you to become holy before God through marriage.
2) Learn to love and serve in your daily life.
Then you will get happiness as a bonus.