Title: Happy Family / Ephesians 6:1-4
Last week's magazine Light and Salt dealt with family issues under the theme "A little heaven that is falling apart, a home that needs to be restored."
The image of the crumbling little heaven is described as follows.
He said, "Korean families are collapsing." He said that in Korea, the phenomenon of family breakdown is clearly visible in the divorce rate.
Compared to 45,000 in 1990, the number of divorces in 1999 more than doubled to 118,000, an average of 323 divorces per day. Considering that 363,000 couples were married during the same period, one-third of married couples broke up. Even worse, 71.2% of divorced couples have minor children. Moreover, even though they live together in the same house, it is a common point of family ministry experts that the number of emotionally divorced families with separate children and separate couples is enormous.
In particular, the continuing economic downturn has made the phenomenon of family collapse more pronounced.
Scholars say that the cause of the collapse of the family is that the father, who is the head of the household, is falling apart.
The loss of father's authority is not just a story of yesterday and today, but it points out that men's shoulders are shrinking more and more after the IMF, which is becoming a social problem.
Professor Shin Bok-ryong, dean of Konkuk Graduate School, said, "Now that our father's appearance has disappeared from our family, men are very dwarfed and withdrawn under the ruthless competition for survival at work and impersonal bosses." There is no chance to even make eye contact, let alone a chance to sit face to face between parents and children and talk about Oh Soon Do-soon. Accordingly, he argued, "It is natural that children living in a society without adults these days lose their manners and discernment, and if the root lies in the downfall of their father, who has already weakened and withered, everything in this society will inevitably be shaken."
It is said that the root cause of family breakdown lies in the collapse of the father, but when a family collapses, it is not a single family, but the collapse of an empire.
In Edward Gibbon's "The History of the Fall of the Roman Empire," the rise and fall of the family and empire, and their close functional relationship, were summarized in short words as follows.
"The fall of the Roman Empire was because smoke disappeared from the chimneys of Roman homes."
Where did the smoke go? A typical Roman family was an extended family system in which a father, mother, son and wife, their children, and unmarried daughters lived together. It was normal in society for smoke to come out of the chimney constantly. A key element and foundation for maintaining such a system was the father's authority. It was the cradle and driving force that allowed Rome to conquer the world and become great. But the smoke seems to have gone to the bathroom. That is why Rome began to collapse from its foundation as the family system collapsed along with the rapid decline of the codified culture represented by the bathhouse culture.
The saying "a family lives only when the father lives" is heard nonstop in places where father's school is held these days. When the father lives, the family lives, and when the family lives, the country lives.
An experimental study by the National Center for Fathers in the United States found a book called "The Seven Secrets of Good Dads" by a man named Ken R. Canfield.
The seven secrets are:
1) Be dedicated.
2) Know your children.
3) Be consistent.
4) Be a protector and provider.
5) Love your wife.
6) Listen actively.
7) Be spiritually equipped.
Read again verse 4 of the words you read.
“And fathers, do not provoke your children, but bring them up in the discipline and admonition of the Lord.”
These are the words of instruction on how to raise the children you have given us.
1. Don't anger your children
There are many factors that make children angry with their parents, and among them, favoritism and violence make children angry.
1) Don't be biased.
Favoritism toward children bruises their hearts. Favoritism sows hatred in people's hearts.
A typical example of this is found in the story of Jacob and Esau in the Bible. Esau and Jacob grew up as twins. His father, Isaac, liked Esau, and his mother, Rebekah, favored Jacob. Because of this, Esau later wanted to kill his brother Jacob.
2) Do not use violence.
Reports have emerged that children in our country are being abused by their parents. According to the Gyeonggi-do Child Abuse Prevention Center, 521 cases of child abuse were received in the first half of last year alone. 'Child abuse', in which children who should be loved and raised go beyond physical violence, neglect or bully verbally and emotionally, is emerging as a serious problem in our society.
2. Nurture them in the discipline and admonition of the Lord.
In Larry Christenson's book, "The Christian Family Life," there are a few things that Texas police in the United States say is 99% effective for 'how to ruin your child'.
First, give them everything they want from infancy.
Second, never do spiritual training.
Third, don't rebuke them by saying, 'That's not okay, that's a bad thing'. It is said that 99% of them ruin their children. I mean, just let it go. When we leave our children alone in the world, they perish. Don't just leave your children alone.
Proverbs 22:6 says, "Teach a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."
1) Let's get the word of God closer to us from an early age.
The words of Deuteronomy 6:4-5 are called Shema.
"Hear, O Israel. There is only one Jehovah our God; you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength."
He told me to listen to these simple words from a young age.
Deuteronomy 6:6 and below.
“You shall take these words which I am commanding you today in your heart, and you will teach them diligently to your children, and you will preach them when you sit at home, when you walk on the road, when you lie down, and when you get up. and put it on your forehead as a mark, and write it on the doorpost of your house and on the outside door."
Jews are a people who have been close to books since childhood. According to Professor Victor M. Solomon's book "The Jewish Survival Secret" (published under the title 'Sell clothes and buy a book') in our language, the Jews said, "If the ink was on the book and the clothes at the same time, First, wipe off the ink from the book, and then dispose of the ink on your clothes. If you drop a book and money on the ground at the same time, pick up the book first," he said. "Books are for reading, not for decoration. “Books should be treated with respect.”
2) Let's get closer to God's temple from an early age.
There is a record that Jesus went up to the temple when he was twelve years old. Ever since I was little, I went to the temple to worship. I have a habit of being close to the temple. Our children must also develop the habit of being close to God's temple from an early age.
There is a saying that goes until the age of three and the habit of eighty. Good habits should be instilled from an early age.
3) Let's cherish God's blessings from an early age.
According to Mark 10:13-16, "People brought in little children hoping that Jesus would touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw them, he became angry and said to them, "Let little children come to me, and do not forbid them. The kingdom of God is Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it. He took the little children, laid his hands on them, and blessed them."
4) Let's pray for our children.
What parents do not pray for their children?
In Job 1, it is said that when Job held a feast for his children on their birthdays, he prayed and offered burnt offerings, fearing that his sons might sin and betray God in their hearts.
Even if our children temporarily do not follow God's will, let's not lose heart and pray for them. Like Monica, the mother of St. Augustine, let us pray and not lose heart. Children of prayer never perish.
General MacArthur's prayers for children, heard many times, are a great example.
Lord! Give me these children.
The freedom to look after yourself when you are weak,
Courage not to lose yourself when you are afraid,
not ashamed of honest defeat
Give me children who are humble and meek in victory.
Don't be stubborn when you have to think
Grant me children who know that to know you and to know yourself is the foundation of knowledge.
do you want
Do not lead him in a smooth and easy way.
Guide me to learn how to resist in the face of hardships and challenges.
So I know how to fight bravely in the storm
Teach me to be tolerant of losers.
Children whose hearts are pure and whose goals are high,
Before trying to conquer others, children who can control themselves first,
Help me to be a child who looks to the future and at the same time does not forget the past.
After allowing these
In addition to this, let my children know humor,
Help me learn to live life solemnly and enjoy life at the same time.
Don't be too obsessed with yourself
May you be humble, that you may know that true greatness lies in simplicity,
True wisdom is in an open mind,
Remember that true strength is in meekness.
So my father
One day I said my life wasn't in vain
Please help me to confess.
.