Title: Ephesians 06:4 Nurture in the Lord
Content text Ephesians 6:4
Title Nurture in the Lord
I would like to start today's message by starting with the story of a pastor's family.
It happened when our daughters were four or five years old. I happened to overhear the children's stories. It was a very childish and simple statement at first glance, but the meaning was profound. A child suddenly remembered and, excitedly, said: "Isn't it you? God is our Father in heaven!"
They might have said it without knowing what it meant, but as I was listening to it in the next room, my heart was greatly challenged. It was then that I realized something I had never known before. It was the fact that when our daughters think of God, they think of me as a father in their heads. To them, I, the father of the flesh, was replacing my invisible Heavenly Father, whether good or bad. These children did not realize the knowledge of God as what I explained to them, 'This is what God is. In my attitude and behavior toward them, my mother, or others.
It is for this reason that Paul speaks to fathers, not mothers, about raising children in Ephesians and Colossians. Fathers are very important to children. Today's text says: “And fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the instruction and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). Looking at these words, it seems that Paul is admonishing only fathers, but if you look more closely at the text of the Bible and the culture of the time, it is actually for both parents. However, focusing on the point that Paul pointed out fathers, it can be said that the responsibility of education lies primarily with the father rather than the mother.
What kind of image can you imagine as a father to young people? The father is the representative who indirectly shows the 'image of God' in the home. So we do not call God 'Mother in Heaven', but 'Father in Heaven'.
Paul, who explained the attitude children should have toward their parents in Ephesians 6:1~3, is now explaining how parents should raise their children in the text.
Children are not the property of parents, but a gift from God. Therefore, parents have a responsibility to protect the life that God has entrusted to them and to nurture them according to the word of God. Therefore, it is said that the responsibility of parents is enormous.
Through today's message, I hope that it will be a time to examine in detail what the text teaches to parents and to think about the guidelines for Christian parents to properly educate their children.
In today's message, Paul, in his letter to the fathers in Ephesians, calmly discusses the things that must not be done first, and then the things that must be done. These two contents are negative, 'Fathers, do not provoke your children,' and positive, 'nurture them in the instruction and admonition of the Lord.'
In Colossians, Paul goes into a little more detail about what this verse means. “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged” (Colossians 3:21).
At that time, most Gentile fathers were not very sensitive to the needs of their children. So Paul reminds them of what their lives were like in the past. In the past, they were 'senseless' (Ephesians 4:19). He spoke carelessly and sometimes poured out 'wrath, anger, and malice' as it was (Ephesians 4:29-30, Colossians 3:8). At this time, Paul is reminding the Ephesians that they are Christians. I am speaking as a warning that we must no longer live the way the Gentiles do.
Today, how about our parents who live a religious life?
Shouldn't we be thinking that our children can easily be hurt by the words or actions of parents?
And shouldn't we also expect that this will make our children angry, tormented, or even discouraged?
There is no room for reconsideration of barbaric punishment in any family, including the believing family. Of course, you also need a rod to correct a mistake. However, it is important to note that even if physical sanctions are imposed on a child's wrongdoing, love must be given.
Have our parents never neglected their children?
Have you ever failed to understand your child's point of view?
Didn't you expect too much from your children?
Have you not forced your children to accept their parents' goals and ideas?
One of the most difficult things parents do when educating their children is admitting their mistakes in front of them. In other words, saying "I'm sorry, dear" is so hard. When parents make mistakes, their children often find out too. Therefore, we should never hesitate to apologize or ask for forgiveness. Doing so does not diminish parental authority. Rather, they will be respected by their children. And since it is the case of teaching the truth of the Bible by example, it is possible to achieve educational effects beyond teaching verbally. However, if parents do not admit their mistakes, most of their children will find out about them and their respect for their parents will be greatly damaged.
Paul tells parents what they ought not to do, and then instructs them on what they should do. There are basically two ways to raise children. It is for parents to set an example for themselves and teach them good lessons.
Parents should be examples to their children.
The most effective way to teach young children is first and foremost by example. Because they have a good relationship with their parents, they feel comfortable when they are with their parents, and children who love their parents naturally imitate their parents' words and actions. This is especially true for children entering adolescence. They try to speak the same way as their parents, and they try to imitate their voices. If parents speak loudly and harshly or shout, their children will do the same. If parents are sensitive to their children's needs and show sincerity and understanding in their dealings with them, their children will also develop the same character. The secret is very simple.
Suppose you are married and then become a parent with children. And if you want your children to be like Jesus Christ, you can set a good example for them, just as Jesus did for his disciples.
Parents should teach their children good lessons.
Paul explains his ministry in the Thessalonian church by using the parable of the relationship between parents and children in 1 Thessalonians. “As you know, we exhort, comfort, and rebuke each of you as a father does his children, that you may walk worthy of the God who called you to his kingdom and glory” (1 Thessalonians 2:11-12). ).
Here Paul first tells what a father should do to his children. Fathers say that they should treat their children as a person and provide for their personal needs. In other words, a father must not only take care of the family, but he must also take good care of each and every one of his children.
There are three ways to do this. Paul describes that method as 'counsel', 'comfort', and 'vigilance'.
Parents should constantly exhort their children. Encourage them with positive words, believe how much they care about their interests, how proud parents are when their children grow up, and even the fact that love never changes no matter what problems they cause. have to let it be.
A lot of kids think they won't get their parents' attention if they don't cause some trouble. So, if you want to get your parents' attention, of course you have to cause problems. In severe cases, some children even risk a painful beating in order to get attention. How unfortunate if this happened to young children. What's more, what a tragedy it would be if parents could not understand their children's minds even though they had reached such a situation.
One of the most important things parents should do for their children is to comfort them when they are hurt physically or emotionally. Parents need to learn to feel their children's pain and anger as their own.
There will be many times when your relationship with teachers or other children at school is bad and your children will come home frustrated or broken. But what are the first words children hear from their parents? It's a rebuke like "You can't do that!" But, for example, if the mother acknowledges her pain by saying, "Son, you've worked very hard today. Can you tell me where?", the anger and hurt will go away easily. Parents' responsibility is to comfort their children and help them express their feelings, even if they hate others. It is also a job that guides you so you can see the problem right away.
Paul looks back on his ministry and warns the Thessalonians from the father's point of view. Paul speaks of encouraging children to live worthy of God. “You are witnesses, and so is God, how we have behaved in a holy, just, and blameless way toward your believers” (1 Thessalonians 2:10).
It is only through right teaching and example that the boundaries of the right and godly life are most effective. Parents should not hesitate to warn and instruct their children about sin, its dangers, and its disastrous consequences. This is an important part of the educational responsibility entrusted to parents. Parents should help their children realize that the only way to find true happiness is to do God's will and find rest in living a life that pleases Him.
We believe that raising and caring for children is not a responsibility limited to parents. In a sense, all believers will have to stand as 'parents' to each other. We should not slander each other and we should not blame each other. We should not judge each other, but rather teach and exhort one another. We believers, regardless of whether they are parents or not, believe that when we see children, we should look out for each other and encourage love and good deeds.
Because you are young, now you have no children. But sooner or later you will become parents.
So what kind of parent do you want to be?
What strengths would you like to have as a parent?
What else can you improve on yourself to be a good parent?
As a child of God, what can you counsel, warn, and comfort and encourage your future children?
At this time, I hope you will remember today's text