Title: The best parenting
Contents
May is a time to think about families. There is Children's Day and there is Mother's Day. So the month of May costs a bit more money. Today, three young children from our church were baptized. I also listened to the vows of those parents. We need to raise these kids really well.
I have this wish that not only these children who were baptized today, but all parents of our church are armed with the best secrets of raising children. Let's think about it this way. After all of our children have grown up, when we are all grown up, then when our children come to us with their own children, Mother and Father, thank you for raising us in such a wonderful way! We will raise our children like fathers and mothers!
But when we become fathers and mothers, we become mothers and fathers immediately after we get married and have children. How do we really raise our children well? It's that they don't learn much of this professional knowledge and methods and start raising their children right away.
After graduating from university for 6 years, surgeons take exams, take specialization courses, intern, then become a resident, practice dozens of times, and put a knife to the patient's body in the operating room. If a doctor comes in and treats a patient who is undergoing surgery, in fact, I am a beginner who has never practiced surgery. But let me begin, saying that would make the patient very anxious and nervous.
But being a mother and father means that once you get married, you have children. Raising a child is too inexperienced. No parent promises to make their child miserable today when they wake up in the morning at the end of the day. If I can, I will scold, nag, and insult you if I can.
But when you're a parent, it's almost a war. Things happen endlessly. Collisions with children, tensions and crises, heartbreaking events, ah, maybe it's good here now? Embarrassing things happen. I love children, and I really want to raise them, but contrary to my heart, all the old traits that I haven't thrown away are thrown out when I raise them.
Let's think deeply about today's verse 4. Here are two tips for parents who are raising their children: the best way to raise children. Forbid one thing and command one thing. What is forbidden? Don't make your children angry. What are you commanding? It is to nurture them through the discipline and admonition of the Lord. This is the best way to raise children.
So, on the other hand, what is the worst parenting? It makes your children angry. And my upbringing is without the Lord's discipline and admonition. Do I have these two in my home today? What am I missing from my current parenting? You want to check what should be supplemented and what should be discarded.
First, the best parenting is not to anger your children.
Read verse 4, only fathers. Don't anger your child, what is this? Under what circumstances will children be angered? To provoke is to upset, anger, hurt, upset, confuse the child's heart. In the words of most children, it makes them angry.
Why did God say this to parents? This is the most common mistake parents make. To provoke children to anger means that this is the worst parenting that fathers and mothers commit without thinking. Everyone, please read Paul Tournier's book. How do the things parents most anger their children happen? If you look at 'Guilt and Grace', you can see it well.
There are two types of guilt: there is a genuine feeling of guilt that you should have when you really did something wrong, and there is a ‘false feeling of guilt’ that makes you feel like a sinner even though you haven’t actually done anything wrong. This false guilt confuses a person's judgment and prevents him from standing mentally independent, he says, and most of the false guilt takes place at home as a child.
Who puts this guilt in? The child's parents. For example, the older brother is gentle and the younger brother is wild. When the two fight, the younger brother usually bullies the older brother. Pinch, hit, steal, and so on. But when your mother sees the two of you fighting, you become an older brother and you can't give up one of them? Can't you play with a younger brother? when are you coming?
Then the older brother has a false sense of guilt. This makes your child angry. But although the child is old, he does not rebel. And Mom, I can't even dare to say, this is what it is. Then you become cowardly and withdrawn, and I am the bad guy! You will see the reaction of the underdog. My brother, whenever something like that happens, ah look, this works! It's fun to fool your mom.
By the way, never scold a child for this saying not to anger, and never lift a stick! Why? If you do that, your children will get angry, because they will hurt you! I don't mean this. When the Bible says not to provoke, it does not mean to be scolded or spared the whip. On the contrary, in Proverbs 13:24, it is said to make crescents. The crescent moon is a whip. A man who does not have the time to achieve perfection hates his child, but he who loves a child is diligent in chasing him! I did. Proverbs 22:15 says that foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline is far from it.