Title: Two Modes of Faith
However, if you think about it again, the visible God no longer requires faith. Faith, by its very nature, presupposes an epistemic distance and barrier between us and God. A visible God may be able to impose our beliefs, but in doing so, we are freed from the need for free decisions or faith adventures. That is why faith inherently has the possibility of doubt in it. There are times when I wonder how wonderful it would be if God could show His power without moving, undeniably, without the slightest doubt - like the relationship between a child and a tyrant father - but that is not faith, and that God is a human being. It's not the way to deal with it either. God is a person that can be met only through faith through human free decision.
There is a saying in the Old Testament that when man sees God directly, he will die. Just as we cannot look directly into the powerful sunlight, so God enters our perception only indirectly and in a refracted form through the lens of faith. It is only in the end times that we can see God with our eyes without a doubt. As the Apostle Paul said: "Now we see dimly in the mirror, but then we will see face to face". Now we see it dimly with eyes of faith and hope, but then we will no longer need faith and will face it face to face.
Then, while we live as strangers on earth in the tent of our flesh, we have no choice but to endure the ambiguity and uncertainty of our faith. Still, this is better than living without faith, and believing that faith is still a gift and blessing from God, we are continuing our faith life even though we are weak. Today, we can find this pattern of our own weak and uncertain faith in the words of the Gospels, so it is a great comfort to us.
It is the triangular story of Jesus and his disciples, the father of an epilepsy patient. First of all, let's look at the plight of the disciples. There is a great commotion between the disciples and the crowd. Jesus asks what's going on. It seems that there was a quarrel between the disciples who could not be cured and the crowd. There's a good chance it's true. Otherwise, the early church would not have conveyed the shameful and incompetent side of the disciples. Even the disciples could not heal the sick, so what can we say now? You won't be too disappointed.
I believe that our religious life is a simultaneous repetition or repetition of these two seemingly contradictory confessions. Sometimes, especially when we are in an emergency or a crisis, we have no choice but to offer a prayer of appeal, shouting “I believe” without realizing it, and at other times, groaning softly, “Help me in my unbelief.” Sometimes, as if you have the faith that can move mountains, your life of faith is full of vitality, and other times, your faith is skeptical and you lose your temper. And other times, like the father of this epilepsy child, I experience contradictory attitudes that exist in me at the same time.
Aren't we all caught up in Jesus at some point in our lives when we met Jesus in an urgent and desperate situation and confessed, "I believe," suddenly or immaturely? So I was in a situation where I couldn't go anywhere. After that, the more I think about it, the more I feel that I can't afford this belief, so when I run away, I can't even run away, and even if I run, there's no point in getting it, so I can't help but honestly pray, "Help me in my unbelief." I think it's not people. However, these two churches are the ones who, despite having such a quiet faith that is hesitant, skeptical, and shy, are obsessed with Jesus and cannot leave his side. However, I don't know if it is a church that sometimes experiences things that surprise even itself by the grace that God grants. And, according to the conclusion of today's Gospel, I think we should become a church that bows down before God realizing that these miracles and powers of faith exist only through the power of prayer.