Title DAY 12 Growing Friendship with God
Contents
Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you (James 4:8).
Being friends with God is not easy because it means being enemies with the world. Sometimes you may walk a lonely path in this land, and you may be turned away from and criticized by those close to you. I became lonely trying to serve God, but I heard a confession that I was not lonely because I believed that He was in my heart, and I felt envious of her closeness to God.
He desires to be friends with God, but it doesn't seem to be greater than his passion for liking people. The desire to spend time with the people I love is greater than the desire to be with God.
I was surprised when I read the psalms. As David, who said that he was “a man after God’s own heart,” prayed to God, I thought, “Is this okay?” As I continued to read the psalms, I became envious of David who was honest before God. Even if I don't confess, you already know my heart, but to be honest, I know that God touches my heart. But if you don't give your feelings to God as honestly as I did, you'll continue to be dominated by them. My thoughts, ‘I have to deal with this, I can’t tell God this’ shows my ignorance toward God and my pride.
When YWAM teaches about obedience, it teaches that obedience should be “immediately, fully, joyfully.” I repented because I remembered that not doing what I thought I was going to obey because it seemed like God had said it was also disobedience. There are more times when we don't know what God has said than when we know for sure, but like God's friends in the Bible, even if it's a wrong guess, if it's what God said, we should obey it. Then he will let you know whether it is from God or not. But these days, I have a lot of desires for God to give me more discernment.
I meditated and felt ashamed, but I did not despair because God is “the author and perfecter of our faith.” I remembered the third (?) child from the Chronicles of Narnia. He betrayed his family because of his greed for small things (Turkey Jelly) and acted unjustly, but after God made him whole, he called him the King of Justice. It was a content that gave me true hope, as I doubted whether God could change a child like me or whether he could ever be perfected.
I hope to draw closer to God every day...