Time to draw a self-portrait
Time to draw a self-portrait
* Standing on the last Sunday of the year.
I wonder if the last week is anything special, but in fact, the flow of time and space seems to have stopped.
At this apex, you have to stop everything and focus on 'seeing me'.
So short, but by no means light.
Abby was paper. Even though it was late at night, it didn't come. An old lady like green onions and a date flower stood there for a week. The mother said that she wanted to eat only one futsal ball with the moon. Emi's son with black nails under the earthen, windy lantern. It is said that I resemble my grandfather's thick hair and his big eyes, who say that he goes to the sea and never returns. For the past twenty-three years, the thing that has raised me is the wind. The world is just shy no matter where you go. Some read sinners in my eyes and go away, others read heavenly words in my mouth, but I will not repent of anything. Even on any morning when it comes splendidly, there are always a few drops of blood mixed with the dew of poetry on my forehead, and I came panting like a sick hen in the sun or in the shade or hanging down on my tongue.
It is a poem called ‘Self-Portrait’ by poet Seo Jeong-ju of Midang. He paints a self-portrait of himself through poetry. The last phrase, “I came panting like a male dog” makes my heart flutter. Life is like this, I can barely feel it. Still, I think that a poet is blessed to be able to see himself and speak like this.
It is said that Cardinal Suhwan Kim, one of the most respected believers, drew a circle of his face with a pencil and wrote 'Fool' underneath it. And then he said, thinking about the things I was bragging about, flaunting, and trying to be treated, I made fun of myself, saying, 'You're an idiot'.
The Bible text we read today is a self-portrait of Paul. Although he wrote a couple of simple lines, he is drawing all of his past, present and future. Paul paints a self-portrait with confessions and prayers, not poems, songs, or paintings. Perhaps this is the self-portrait we should each draw at this time today.
People who lived with a sense of humor drew self-portraits like this. Whether it's a poem, a song, a painting, or a confession. So, what is the self-portrait that they consider so important? You are drawing yourself. It's about revealing yourself without hiding it. This is the meaning of the word self-portrait (protrahere). More specifically, “take it out. Discover. make it clear.” So, to paint a self-portrait means to reveal yourself without cheating. He lived by painting, covering, and wrapping things, but he also deceived himself and deceived others, but at some point he is honestly examining himself. I try to express my original heart through face, poetry, song, or prayer.
By the way. In fact, we rarely draw [self-portrait] because we live in a town where we have a lot of pretense and know how to hide things as a virtue. And I'm not proud of it either. In some cases, it is very disgraceful for me to draw myself, to reveal myself. So there are many famous painters in Korea, but there is no such thing as [self-portrait]. It has to be something like a portrait. It also changes the mood rather than drawing the real face. Whether it’s gentle, or solemnly painted, it’s decorated and painted as if it were elegant. So, it is difficult to “draw out, discover, or reveal” the truth of a person. But Western artists are different. They mostly paint self-portraits. ‘Who I am, what I am, and what I look like’ is what I’m curious about. First of all, I want to know myself. So Van Gogh, as we know him well, painted 40 self-portraits while painting for 10 years, from the age of 27 to 37. Did you draw a lot? Why am I drawing my face like this?
Now is not the time to talk. It's time to tell me It's a sincere time to see my true face. When I look at myself like this, tomorrow can be my share of the day. You have to do this to qualify for the rising sun, and you can pray to God to bless your life with a new resolution, right? You can't start the new year without doing this, and you can't die, right?
As I was preparing for the sermon, I first drew my face. I drew it all and looked at it for a moment and said this.
“Taesu, what is your real name?”